Friday, August 17, 2012

With Love...

Few months back I had written about Marriages in India. So why am I writing on the same topic again? Good question ! They have started a new show on Sony TV-Love Marriage ya Arranged Marriage, so the debate continues…
As I have said in that post, I have nothing against arranged marriages. They are totally acceptable in our society because of the girls’ upbringing in India. A girl here knows ( & accepts ) that she has to live with her groom’s family; however unknown they are for her; as marriages in India are a family matter; rather than a personal one.
Most of the marriages I see around myself are arranged marriages & quite successful. Many people argue that in arranged marriages the plus point is, both the families know each other well….or do they ? Unless they have known each other for years. Of course, one can check background of the family; but is it enough to get married to an unknown person ? One can know about some family only after a close contact with it.
While in love marriage, at least both the partners know each other. They know likes, dislikes, views & opinions of the other person. Though one must agree that knowing & accepting these things of the other person for some period of time before marriage & living with them full time is a totally different thing.
Arranged marriages are good because the family selects spouse for their children from the same religion & same or similar community, so a girl can easily adjust to the atmosphere of her husband’s family.
Graphic created from different images of the show Love Marriage Ya Arranged  Marriage
But in my opinion, when a person is in love with someone; the parents should allow him/her to marry to that person. After all, it is his/her own life & a person has every right to select a life partner. They have to spend their life with each other; so let them have their own choice of partners. In my opinion, parents should not interfere at that time on the pretext of ‘khandan ki izzat’ or  ‘humne tumhen pal-poskar bada kiya hai, tumhen hamari pasand se hi shaadi karni hogi.’ After all, parents can only wish for their children’s happiness ! Love just happens; one does not plan & fall in love.
Naturally when two different people from two different families start living together after the marriage; difference of opinions & other issues would occur; be it an arranged marriage or a love marriage. Understanding on both the parts can solve any problem, provided love & maturity is there; egos are left behind & sacrifice for the other person is there.Compromise & less expectations are the key words for a marriage to work.
Let us arrange love in arranged marriages & arrange love marriages with love in our heart.
Few days back I was talking to a lady, who lives in US; she told me that they can't even think of arranged marriages ! The question arose in my mind,  ( though I refrained myself from asking her ) what if one does not fall in love ? In our Indian society there is a fair chance of that. Because of our conservative views, boys & girls do not meet & mix freely. ( though the situation is changing very fast ) Aren't arranged marriages convenient  for those cases ??


This entry is for the contest from Love Marriage ya Arranged Marriage

10 comments:

AmitAag said...

Wow! Very well written, Vimla!
Thoroughly enjoyed! All the best:)

V. Khawani said...

Thanks :)

Saurabh Chawla said...

nice post :) all the best !
here have a look at this one too when you get time :)

http://saurabhchawla2345.blogspot.com/2012/08/love-is-arranged-by-god-4.html

V. Khawani said...

Thanks Surabh...going to read all your entries :)

Panchali said...

You wrapped it up well, Vimla. Arraged marriages are convenient indeed...both for the couple and parents. But, Whether it is love or arranged, trust, understanding and commitment is what drives towards a successful marriage...:)

V. Khawani said...

Thanks Panchali :)

Saru Singhal said...

You made good points there, interesting read. All the very best for the contest :)

V. Khawani said...

Thanks, Saru :)

Kishore said...

Nice post Vim.

V. Khawani said...

Thanks Kishore :)

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