Monday, May 28, 2012

Twelve minutes per hour !


A few days back, there was news that TRAI has asked TV channels to show ads for 12 minutes per hour besides introducing restrictions on the number of breaks . TV channels are not happy with it naturally.
I don’t know, what would be the outcome of it, but I was quite disappointed, when I read the news ! Looks like Trai does not have any house wife on its board ! Or they would not have made such an absurd rule !!
Break for ads is my favourite time in TV shows ! I finish all my work during those breaks…like dusting, reading my news paper, preparing dinner, making snacks, doing paper work, sometimes even doing my accounts.
What would I do without those good long breaks ! You know, sometimes these breaks are so long that I can prepare my full dinner at that time !
cartoon source : Bamulahija
& I will have to forget Samosas; which I have been planning to make for the last five years & for which I have already bought dry peas & masala just two years back ! Leave alone samosas, I would not be able to make pudina pakoras I so much love !
As it is; Indian women suffer from malnutrition. I am sure, this rule will increase the rate of it !
Not only meals; but can you imagine what might be the entry in my accounts, if this rule is implemented? Paid to Jethalal Champaklal Gada for the laughter he delivered to me. How can Income Tax Department expect me to concentrate on accounting with a break of just three minutes ( 12 minutes divided by four breaks ) ?
Trai has even a prohibitory regulation on the audio level of advertisements mandating that the audio level of the ads cannot be higher than that of the program. How can they do so ? Then how would I come to know that the break is over ?? I can’t increase volume of my tv while watching the programs. I don’t want my neighbours & ‘ringing doorbell without an appointment clients’ to know that a business woman like me watches anything except business & news channels !
Trai has also asked to ban part-screen advertisements….though they have asked to ban only part-screen advertisements, still it makes me wonder…what would happen, if they ask on part-screen ‘breaking news’ caption on the news channels !
Can you imagine watching a news channel without the caption of “Breaking News” ? You know, something like "Manmohan Singh ne is baat par kuchh bhi kahne se inkar kar diya." ( how it is a breaking news, I have no idea ! waise bhi kaun sa comment kar kar ke thak gaye hain…remember that picture, when someone had compared his facial expressions to Obama’s in different situations ? Great piece of art , I must say ) aur bolne ke liye baki ke neta kya kam hain ! That reminds me of a promo I had seen of Aap ki Adalat; in which Digvijay Singh had come….
Rajat Sharma, “ BJP ka kahna hai, aap Gandhiji ke sachhe anuyayi hain, Gandhiji ne kaha tha, Congress ko samapt kar do, wo aap apne bayanon se kar rahe hain !” ( I did not hear his reply, as I was ‘pretending’ to be busy at the time of the show )
By the way, didn’t I hear Mamata saying that people should only watch entertaining TV channels? Please, someone explain to her that news channels are the most entertaining channels in Indian television !  
& I wonder, what would happen to news channels like Aaj Tak ? I agree, they do show some news in between the breaks, still…
The news reader of the news channel would have to practice more…you know, something like…
“Andhernagri mein police commissioner ke ghar par chori ho gayee hai, commissioner apni office mein the, jab ye chori hui, unki patni apne maike gayee hui thi aur naukar unke kutte ko ghumane le gaya tha , jab ye chori hui…hum aapko fir se bata den ki Andhernagri mein police commissioner ke ghar par chori ho gayee hai…commissioner apni office mein the, jab chori hui, unki patni apne mayke mein gayee hui thi aur naukar unke kutte ko ghumane le gaya tha…ye hamare paas kuchh exclusive tasveeren hain... jo ki commissioner ke ghar ki hain, jo hum aapko dikha rahe hain…ab hamare saath hamare sanvaddata Nikhil Raman jud gaye hain,…kahiye Nikhilji , ye chori kaise hui ?”
Nikhil : “ hanji Commissioner apne bungle par nahin the jab ye chori hui, we apni office mein meeting mein the…”
“Kuchh pata chala, ye meeting kis silsile mein ho rahi thi ?”
“ Han ji, shahar mein chori ki vardaten bad gayee hain, is baat ko lekar meeting ho rahi thi…unki patni apne mayke gayee hui thi aur unka ek matra naukar unke kutte ko ghumane le gaya tha, jab chor khidki khuli paakar unke ghar mein ghusa..”
“ achha, khidki khuli hui thi ?”
source : Bamulahija
“han ji, khidki khuli hui thi, aur koi…”
“to kya koi security guard nahin tha gate par…hello…hello…lagta hai, hamara sampark tut gaya hai Nikhil se, hum dobara sampark karne ki koshish karenge… tab tak ye tasveeren dekhiye jo ki commissioner ke ghar ki hain…aap ko ek bar fir se bata den ki Andhernagri mein police commissioner ke ghar chori ho gayi hai…unki patni apne mayke gayi hui thi aur ekmatra naukar unke kutte ko ghumane le gaya tha….ye commissioner ke ghar ki kuchhh exclusive tasveeren hain jo ki aap dekh sakte hain….sirf isi channel par…hamari nazar bani rahegi isi khabar par…pal pal aapko is khabar ki jankari dete rahenge….ab hum aapko animation ke zariye dikhayenge ki commissioner ke ghar chori kaise hui…isse pahle hum aap ko fir se bata den…”
By the way, have you ever thought of the benefits we get of having so many breaks with such a long duration ? One spends so much money in a theater to watch just a two & a half hour movie; while in television, a two hours movie runs for five to six hours…so many hours of entertainment with less money !
& think of those daily soaps…in a 30 minutes show, 5 minutes goes for recap, 10 minutes for break & 5 minutes for precap. They show story only for 10 minutes. So all the shows would run for thousands of episodes & India’s name would be in Guinness Book of world Records for running longest shows in Television !
Considering all these benefits; don’t you think, Trai should review this rule ?

What say ? Anyone with me on this, if I go on hunger strike ?

8 comments:

sunil deepak said...

Hilarious! :)

Without all those breaks, lot of work will suffer, India's GDP might come down! Our IQ levels are also going down, without the breaks, too much concentration on "breaking news" can have worse effects!

V. Khawani said...

thanks...
though I did not expect anyone to read it. :)

AmitAag said...

...great post Vimla...true facts in a funny, witty way made it a nice read:) enjoyed thoroughly:)

debajyoti said...

hey, loved it!! spot on! and this - sirf hamare channel par cartoon is awesome. do you create all these cartoons?

V. Khawani said...

thanks...both of you :)
@ Debajyoti, I would love to create such cartoons..have written the source underneath. I love his cartoons :)

jaish_vats said...

Hi

Hilarious post! Enjoyed it thoroughly!

petalsandsepals said...

Hey Vim,Di , really hilarious ! i simply loved this one !!!!!

V. Khawani said...

Thanks Jaish :)
Thanks Mala :)

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