Sunday, February 5, 2012

Marriages in India

It is said that marriages are made in heaven, but is it really true ?
I don’t know about other countries, but in India ( or Indian subcontinent ? ) marriage is a family affair. Indian people give much importance to family relationship. Here generally parents or relatives of the person decide whom the person should marry….yes, in this age too !
I don’t have anything against arranged marriages. It is totally acceptable (or should I say, taken for granted ? )  in our society. Most of the arranged marriages I see around myself are successful…maybe because Indian girls are brought up that way. After marriage she has to live with her groom’s family & she quite easily adjusts to it.
What infuriates me is the fact that sometimes the couple has to marry each other against their will.
I was watching a soap on Indian Television-Saas Bina Sasural. A father asks his son to forget his love & marry a girl of the father’s choice because of his promise to the girl’s father. When his family opposes it, he blackmails his son emotionally. A father has a promise to keep, what about the son’s promise to his love ?  It is his life, doesn’t he have any right to select the partner for his life ?  The father expects his son to obey him, just to keep a promise. He thinks that he has every right over his son’s life without even caring for his son’s happiness !
In another show-Kuchh Toh Log Kahenge. An intern aged 24 falls in love with his boss aged 42 . Besides the drama of Indian television, there is one big hurdle between them-their age difference. The intern comes to know that her father & the society would never accept such relationship because of that !
So what is wrong if two people from different generation fall in love with each other ? One can not plan falling in love, it just happens !
Reality is not any different from this. I have seen many cases, where a couple who wants to marry each other, is not allowed to marry because their parents think that the other person is not suitable for their family.
A girl in my near relatives had been in love with someone in her maternal family for fifteen years. She was allowed to marry him very recently & even then the matter was quite hush hush !
So maybe from scientific point of view it might not be considered safe. But when two people are in love, they have every right to get married in my opinion.
We hear many cases of “Honour killings”. Honour killing is defined as a death that is awarded to a couple of the family for marrying against the parent’s wishes, having extramarital and premarital relationships, marrying within the same gotra or outside one’s caste or marrying a cousin. According to a report, India has over 1000 honour killings a year; however a large number of killing cases go unreported, as members of the family try to pass them as natural deaths.  Though the National Crime Records Bureau does not collect separate data on “Honour killings”, a number of such incidents are linked to “forced marriages”, which appear to be one of the major causes for this heinous crime. (Source: Asian Age)  
When will the time come, when we shall start respecting a person’s right to marry a spouse of his/her own choice ?


Meena said...

hmm its very interesting topic vimmi

u have covered it very nicely..

Mithu said...

My views on marriage are independent of the culture / religion and geographic location. I believe that two mature adults should decide / have the freedom to select a mate of their won choice without any interference from any factor. Family, Age, Caste, Creed are just some deterrents in this process.
Acc to Hindu scriptures, Parents are not responsible for the MARRIAGE of their children. They responsibility is limited to Education and shelter when the child is young.

Girish Jodi said...

Importance of Mehndi in Indian Weddings.

Indian marriages are known for their many rituals. In fact, the beauty of Indian weddings comes forth in the numerous traditions that are associated with the special celebration. Marriages being the most important day in one's life, mehndi has become an ornament for the soon to be brides. Infact one whole ceremony dedicated to its celebration popularly known as "Mehndi Ki Raat". Indian marriages are incomplete without dance, music and lots of laughter.

It is a common belief that the darker the color the mehndi leaves on the hands on a bride, the more will she be loved by her husband and mother-in-law. However, the significance of applying mehndi during weddings is not restricted just to sentiments and beliefs. Although these beliefs make the application of mehndi a much anticipated and charming tradition, the actual reason is of much deeper significance. Platform for Happiness

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